you strum the strings of my imagination.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

This is really random, but..

I really miss Emily Wong Shu Wei. :(

And I miss her A LOT.
Listening to Emily's song can just make me cry.
I want her back in Singapore NOW!!
And well, missing her is unlike missing anyone else.
(If you get what I mean)
I miss you, Em!! :( :(

Oh, and I've finally been liberated from love.
(Again, if you get what I mean)
Please pray the liberation lasts. ha.

And I guess it's partially due to Andrea's return.
Though she didn't do anything nor spoke of it.
She just makes me feel a hell lot stronger.
But then again, it's no wonder that I do.
Since that part of me that was in Aussie,
is now back again with me. :) :)

12:37 AM

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Forgive me, darling.

I just love you too much..

11:43 AM

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

You're pure addiction,
And I get down whenever you're not around.
You've injected a kind of poison in me,
And you're the only antidote.
There's a strange yet pleasant feeling that stirs up in me,
Whenever your hand touches mine.
There's a certain pain that doesn't hurt,
Because you take my scars away.
There's something that you feed me,
Which never seem to taste anything else but sweet.
You subtly make yourself a necessity in me,
leaving me begging at your mercy.
I am helpless before you.

6:58 PM

Sunday, September 18, 2005

My 17th Birthday was a BLAST. Thanks to everyone who made it possible, who was there, who wished me. I love you all!! It's truly unforgettable, and it wouldn't be without each one of you (: Special love and thanks to..

Cheryl
My other half. Thank you so much for putting in so much effort into making this birthday surprise such a major success despite the upcoming promos, for not letting my negatory thoughts get your plans down. I'm really grateful. Thank you so much, Cheryl. For everything. (: and Thank you for constantly being there for me especially during the lowest points of my life this year. If not for you, I don't think I would have made it through a single day. Seriously. You're the only one I could pour out my most pathetic side to and not feel embarrassed about it. This year has been really rocky for the both of us, and I'm really glad that I have you with me. Thank you for listening to me crying, ranting, enduring with my grouchiness, my depression, my insanity. This friendship with you made my 17 years worth living, worth cherishing.

Wanyi
The 2nd mastermind it all. Thank you for sacrificing your precious study time to plan this event I deemed worthless to something so extravagant. Honestly, you and cheryl have been the best friends I could ever have this year. You always start off my days in school with a smile that made school so much less of a dread. With you around, I feel that I can survive each school day seeing them in school. Because you cheer me up almost instantly whenever signs of a frown start to appear. You are honestly so awesome, I don't know how to tell you how much I truly cherish you. I'm so glad we got back as close as we were before, perhaps even closer this time around. Thank you for always offering a hand to help me along the way, to whack some sense into my head. I love you, Wanyi. Thank you for being such a blessing to me. :)

Andrea
Omg, you really suck!! I cannot believe that you lied to me about going on a road trip and then suddenly appearing right in front of my bloody face on my birthday!!! You idiot!! I love you so much la!! To think I was going to msg and tell you that I missed you very much, and how much I was wishing that you were back in Singapore to spend this day with me. Thank you so much for flying back, dear. Thank you so much for spending my birthday with me. I really couldn't ask for anything more. Seeing you that day really brought tears to my eyes. I missed you so much! I love you so much, Andrea Hui!! Thank you for everything :)

Sem
The one who made me cry a few hours before my birthday. I honestly thought I wasn't gonna see you on my birthday. And that feeling seriously stung. I thought I was going to spend my birthday without the one who has made the past 6 years so memorable for me, the one whom I've been loving so deeply since the very day we became friends. Thank you so much for showing up despite however busy you were with Sean's preparations. Thank you for letting me smell like Sean now too. :) Me and you, Sem. We'll go a very long way, no matter how busy we are, no matter who our hearts are so tangled up with. Because you're a part of me everyday, you always will be. I love you, dear. many much lots. :)

Doreen
Laoma! Our birthdays just right next to each other, and yet you still contributed so much to my birthday. Thank you so much just for that. And thank you for always being there supporting whatever decision I make, whether it was wrong or right. You're just constantly behind me, backing me up if anything were to happen. Where can I ever find a friend like that, I've honestly been so blessed. You hear my worries with genuine concern and encourage me whenever I feel like I'm gonna be sucked away into despair. You give me hope each time. Thank you. Our friendship goes all the way back to Primary 1/2, and I'm so grateful for that. I love you, laoma! We'll always celebrate our birthdays together. :) :)

Rach
My mother hen :) Thank you so much for helping to organise this birthday party. Thank you for cooking and serving each and everyone who was present. Thank you for contributing to everything at the party. Thank you for just being there. You've really been so great, I missed spending time with you. Missed being as close as we were before. Let's hang out more often after the exams, alright? Thank you so much for everything, rach. Really. I love you. :)

9:10 PM

Dinah
YOU. REALLY. ARE. AN. AWESOME. FRIEND.
Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, really. You've seriously been one heck of a friend. Planning behind my back with Tricia to surprise me during break with your brownie and her cupcake, going out with her after school even though it was so late already to get my birthday gifts (and bearing with her whininess). Thank you for listening me rant everyday, bearing with my depressing emotions everyday, always encouraging me whenever I feel like giving up. You've really been so awesome, I can't be more thankful that I found a friend in you. :) Thank you so much for everything, dinah. You're truly too good to be true. :)

Merser, Xinying, AJ
Thank you. The 3 of you. I'm so glad to see you all there in my room, standing there, smiling, laughing at me in my CJ uniform. And I cannot believe you 3 really got me the guess top I wanted for my birthday!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LA!! You three really are the best. Especially Merser and Xinying. I'm so glad to have you both with me. Always making me smile, making me feel loved. You both really treat me the best of the best. And I'm really so damn grateful for you both. Although I don't show it, I love you both. Very much. (Sorry xinying, if it's too mushy for you) Haha. Thank you for making my birthday so unforgettable. Cheers to our never-ending friendship. I wanna be friends with you both till forever comes. (It never will, so yeah) :)

Dawn, Jen, Andrea, Bernie
I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to meet you all during my birthday itself. Really. One thing that was missing from this birthday was the presence of all of you. The four of you have truly contributed to some of the best moments in my life this year. All the laughing and beatings and this and that. I promise we'll go out soon after my exams alright? Love each and everyone of you very much. And Jen, Thank you for going out on friday to get my present. Thank you very much. Love you extra lots. :) :)

Karina
Thank you so much for coming down to surprise me, to celebrate my birthday with me. Although we've only known each other this year, you're really quite dear to me. I don't know why, but yes, you are. :) I'm really glad you came down, although you barely knew half the people who were present at my party. And I'm sorry for handing you a lizard okay!!! Hahaha. I just love your reactions. Hee. And thank you for your presents. Really. I can't bear to eat them, actually. :/ Haha. Thank you so much, once again. Love you very much!! :)

9:09 PM

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

:( :(

I think I'm sinking into depression.
Just great.

Sigh.
Maybe we should just go seperate ways.

8:23 PM

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

If I were to ask you to share this immaculate love with me
Just you and me together discovering our part in destiny
Would you come away with me?

My birthday wish this year is beyond conceivability.
Impossibility is all that holds its weight.

1:40 AM

Friday, September 09, 2005

Maybe this can be a source of comfort to all you those who have not mugged much for the exams yet, but I honestly have not started studying for Promos. It being 2 weeks away from now. Exactly 2 weeks if I'm not wrong. So much to cover, so much to do, so little time, so little effort. There's not one person I can talk to now without feeling pressurized by them. Even Cheryl has converted into a studious shit. :/ Albeit this holidays has been one of the best this year, it's coming to an end. Making me realise how fucking near Promos are, and how much I have yet to cover, how much I have to do. Thus making me see myself sitting in the examination hall, just staring blankly into space, with my mind a complete blank. And next year, I'd be in a new school. Away from everyone else. Great belle, keep fucking your life up. You're doing a stupendous job!

4:16 PM

If you were mine
I'd be your everything
And you'd be the only thing
That I would ever need
If you were mine
I would tell everyone
That you are the only one
That I could ever want.

Everything I dream about
Everything I talk about
One thing I cant live without
I wanna get closer to you
Can't stand being far away
Knowing that you don't feel the same way
Watching him bring tears to your eyes

Chorus.

All the words I sing about
All the letters I write about
The only thing I want to hear about
Is when I get closer to you
I know there's someone else
But he is only thinking of himself
Doesn't make any sense
For you to be lonely

Chorus.

Let me be the one you share your hopes and dreams with
You'll never be alone again cause I will hold you endlessly
Please don't be afraid to let your broken heart guide you
Into these open arms that long to surround you, baby

Chorus.

12:59 PM

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I see your tears.
I hear the silence when you cry.
I pay attention to everything about you.
I cannot help myself, I just do.
Perhaps I really care too much.

But you don't hear my tears when they fall,
nor do you see them behind my masks.
The light of ur attention placed on him.
I just linger in the shadows,
waiting to be noticed,
to be loved by you.

Do you not know my heart bleeds to hear that silence of your tears?
Do you not see the tears I shed whenever I see you crying?
I've been crying everyday with you, my love.

The smoke intoxicates my heart,
temporarily heals the burned wound inflicted.
Ceases the throbbing pain,
so that I may breathe again.
May I go numb with this agony,
learn to live by that sight of you and him.

See you in love, see you in bliss.
Happiness is my gift to you.
Even if it's without me.

4:06 AM

Monday, September 05, 2005

3rd & 4th September
The best day of my life. (:

To all those who knew, it went swell.
BIG Thanks to all those who contributed and their support. (:
Especially to Cheryl.
Albeit there wasn't any twist in my expected outcome,
I'm just damn glad she was so happy till she cried.
No bonus for belle, it's okay I guess.
Because I could just revel in retrospection of these 2 unforgettable days of my life, and smile to myself as if I felt the pure touch of heaven.
Or perhaps it is.

If only time could stop then and there.
I was the happiest person in the whole wide world last night.
Too bad my happiness doesn't last.
It's back to the harsh reality again,
where she doesn't belong to me.

12:09 AM